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The Volta definitely involves a bit of a learning curve, and it’s probably a better choice for advanced sex-toy users. The Dame Aer is the first air-suction toy that we’ve liked better than our previous picks from Womanizer (the first brand to offer this technology). It’s significantly smaller and narrower than the Womanizer Classic we also like, and it’s made from a softer silicone material that’s more comfortable against the body. Most notably, of all the suction toys we’ve tried, the Aer produces a sensation that feels most similar to oral sex, according to our testers. The nozzle’s opening is larger, with a thinner, softer rim, and it creates a sensation that is more gentle and diffuse in comparison with other suction vibrators, which can feel uncomfortably intense at times.

This extension-of-your-fingers design is both super low profile and easy to hold during sex with a partner. However, it has a relatively low motor and only three speeds, so it’s probably best for those who are more sensitive, since it doesn’t have quite the same power as other vibes on this list. The app also has video-chat accessibility, which can be used while you’re operating the toy. If the Sync seems too complicated and you’re looking for a simpler toy, you can try small external vibrators with vibrations that get stronger as you squeeze them with your hands. The Minna Limon is one example, and it comes recommended by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist and writer specializing in sex therapy.

"I think the reality is everyone knows their own kids, and if you have a kid who will be so humiliated with this interaction or discussion with you, then you don’t have to explain that you found it," she says. I thought this was important to state both for this answer, and for any future questions from readers that may arise. If you already like to masturbate with toys, Reed suggests introducing your favorites into sex.

Find a dildo that looks and feels just the right way for your unique needs today. Some people get insecure about toys, believing they must be somehow inadequate if their partner needs external satisfaction during sex—but Ashford suggests thinking of them as supplements rather than replacements. "Remind your partner that the toy is not there to compete with them, but to enhance the experience for you both," Ashford says. Since the experts say you’ll want a different type of toy depending on the type of pleasure and play you seek, we’ve noted the type of toy from vibrators to rings to strokers. You should also consider what accessories you need to store in addition to the toys themselves